Sam “I’m Fine” Winchester
Sam Winchester has never been fine. He internalized every single negative thing in his life and those around him as his fault, his personal failure. He was “happy” at Stanford and with Amelia because the expectations of him were low relative to what the hunting life demanded. He could make good grades and he could fix things around the motel, but as a kid he was always frightened — not like John, not like Dean. He was never as good a shot as Dean, never as fast, never as tough — because he was a kid — and Dean never got a childhood because of him either. So he left. He went where he could be good enough, but then Jess died because of him. That was his fault too. And after Stanford, it was failure after failure — not saving Dean from his deal, Ruby, all those things he did when he didn’t have a soul (no it wasn’t his fault but we know he felt responsible), he let Dean get dragged to Purgatory with Dick Roman when it should have been him, he didn’t look for Dean … all of this we know had extenuating circumstance. Few of these things were actual failures on Sam’s part, although that’s how he sees it. And Dean has reinforced that belief by never letting Sam forget the times he’s let him down. He had no idea how little self-worth Sam has or how he’s contributed to that just as John did with him. This scene opens Dean’s eyes to just how important he is, and his opinion of Sam is, to Sam. And I wonder if that “Just let it go” isn’t as much for himself as it is for Sam.
90% of my problems with the 8th season of supernatural come from the abrupt dismissal of the fact that for 7 seasons, sam has been canonically known to go completely batshit insane whenever he thinks dean is dead/not in the same universe as him. healthy is good but un developing a character is not
give me crazy, codependent, mentally unstable murderous sam winchester whos brother is his only tether to humanity and once that is gone he completely lacks identity or give me death.
Have you ever thought about how many people think about you? It’s so bizarre. Imagine someone, out of the blue, thinking of your face. Something happens; they remember you. Your favorite song, how you dress, the way you talk, the look in your eyes when you are happy. They remember that about you, even if you haven’t seen each other in years. Everything in life is a reminder of a person, a place, a moment. You may think you’ve forgotten, but you haven’t.